


The Darkest Moon

by CatcherOfDreams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Full Moon Transformation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatcherOfDreams/pseuds/CatcherOfDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus's transformations are never good, but this one is just horrific.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so please be gentle. 
> 
> WARNING- Major angst with a bit of plot

Story- The Darkest Moon  
Full moon ~ 25th December 1977  
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ 

CHAPTER ONE

It was December 1977, and there was almost a week until Remus's transformation. He was use to the monthly routine of a full moon, being in sixth year, but he still despised being a werewolf. 

Remus and James were alone in their dormitory getting ready to go down to breakfast. 

James was currently looking through his trunk, trying to find a sock that would join the lone one on his foot. 

Remus was tapping his fingers impatiently on his bed side table waiting for James. He couldn't stop thinking about the transformation to come.

"Do you want to go to Hogsmead in a week, Moony?" James asked in way that would have been nonchalant, except Remus noticed that he was trying to look a little too busy. 

Remus stopped tapping his fingers. Did James really believe that he would agree after he heard what happened last time?

"What about last time? Marie nearly got killed... or bitten. I couldn't live with that, Prongs! You know I couldn't!" he replied in a agonized voice. It really was his worst nightmare. Him murdering or cursing an innocent person.

"We had the situation under control," replied James in a calm voice, "and where is the fun without a bit of risk?" he unwisely added on. 

Remus immediately fired up. "RISK!... Risk! I could kill someone, James. I could hurt them. What if I give you all the slip, and massacred the unsuspecting towns people? What if I bit you or Sirius or Peter, and gave you the curse. I don't want anyone else becoming a monster like me." 

The pain that Remus was feeling must have been obvious in his voice because James ceased looking for his sock and joined him on the bed. 

"Remus... You are not a monster," said James in a soft voice. Breathing heavily, Remus refused to meet his friends eyes. 

"Moony, look at me. I am sitting beside you, calmly discussing that your a werewolf. Im not afraid of you, or disgusted by you, I want to be your friend." James said in a firmer voice. 

He found it ridiculous that Remus thought himself a monster. Remus finally looked up, the agony in his amber eyes wasn't completely concealed.

 "Let's go down to breakfast. And we aren't going to Hogsmead next week, I won't allow it!" Remus said in a nonnegotiable voice. 

"Sure." said James in a purposefully airy way. Remus knew full well that he was thinking that as soon as the painful spasms were over, Remus wouldn't have any idea of whether he was in the Shrieking Shack or Hogsmead. 

James hopped off the bed and resumed the search for the elusive sock. Remus sighed and got up to help rummage through James's trunk, but he regretted it almost instantly. 

"OUCH," Remus yelped at the top of his voice. He fell backwards from the trunk onto the cold tiled floor holding his hand close to his chest. James was freaking out, while Remus nursed his hand, tears welling in his large amber eyes. 

"Oh Merlin Remus, are you okay? What's wrong? How badly are you hurt? Remus? Moony talk to me!" James questioned at top speed. 

"I'm okay." Replied Remus, breathing heavily. "I don't know what happened." he held out his hand to examine it. There was a large chunk of flesh that had been burnt out between his thumb and finger. The area was bleeding copiously, with large welts appearing around the missing flesh. 

"I think... I think I touched something silver," he said while examining the full extent of the damage. 

"Ohh..." was all James replied before diving back into the trunk. He emerged a second later holding a ring made of pure silver with the Potter family crest embedded into it. 

He brought it closer to Remus, obviously for his inspection. Remus instinctively shrunk away from the small object. 

"Please... Just keep that away from me," he said with a fearful look in his eyes. Even being in close proximity to silver made Remus's head pound and his stomach twist in an unpleasant way. 

"Okay" replied James, throwing the ring back into the trunk. "Do you need the hospital wing or something?" he asked in a concerned voice, while watching Remus wrap a blue scarf around his injured hand. 

"Yep, I'll go now. Tell Professor McGonnigal  where I am and if she asks what happened you can tell her, just make sure your not overheard." Said Remus quickly before he left the room. His hand was really starting to bother him. 

"Okay," yelled James, "Ohh and Moony" he said making Remus turn around, "your not a monster." Remus rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he saw James resume the search for the lost sock. Remus really did have the best of friends.  
~~  
"Merlin, what have you done?" asked Madam Pomfrey in shock as she stared at Remus's unwrapped hand. 

"Lessons haven't even begun for the day and your already injured."  
Remus smiled. It was just like Madam Pomfrey to expect that it was the injury was due to the lesson, not the child's incompetence. It was nice that she thought so highly of children's skill. 

"I touched a silver ring," he said in  embarrassment. It had been years since Remus was foolish enough to touch silver. And he had been very careful after that first time he did.  

"Oh, well that explains it," she replied as she walked toward her office. Remus watched as she returned with a small bottle that he knew very well and a beaker of purple potion that was also familiar. 

The small blue bottle was labeled essence of Dittany, and three drops would heal the skin right away. The beaker was full of blood replenishing potion. Both of these had been used to heal him after the full moon in recent years.

 

After he had taken both potions Remus left for Transfiguration.  
Professor McGonnigal gave no sign that she saw him enter, and asked no questions as to where he had been. 

James must have told her, he concluded before settling into his seat between James and Marie. He began trying to copy down the notes that were on the board, but with his sore hand it was very difficult. Remus was thoroughly annoyed at his stupidity.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter sorry, hope you like. Please comment or leave kudous, this is my first work and I really want to know what people think :)

"I'm fine" said Remus for what he hoped was the final time, while wincing at the pain. 

Lunch at the Gryffindor table was always a noisy affair. The full moon was only four days away, and Remus's senses, more acute then usual, were hurting at the bombardment of noise. 

He looked at the people surrounding him. Sitting next to Remus was James, who was having a conversation with Sirius and Peter, who were seated across from them. 

Every now and then Remus spotted James staring animatedly at Lily, who was sitting next to Sirius. James had this dumbstruck look about him whenever he glanced at her which made it look like Remus had hit him over the head with a caldron. 

Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation at his hopeful friend. Remus then noticed that an evil look graced Sirius's handsome face. Obviously Sirius thought he would intervene. 

"Oi!" yelled James while glaring at Sirius. "What was that for?"  
Sirius had decided to kick James from under the table.

"You were drooling," he replied simply, repressing a laugh with much difficulty.

James muttered incoherently under his breath, but it sounded to Remus like a mix between colourful swear words and curses. 

Lily looked like she would like to curse James to Australia and back, much to James displeasure.  
Sirius couldn't hold it any longer and laughed uproariously at James awkwardness.

Remus stared at Sirius laughing, utterly transfixed by his good looks. Sirius's grey eyes danced, and his shoulder length black hair shone. Remus gazed at him for an untold amount of time, before catching himself. 

Hopefully nobody else noticed, he thought. Once again he looked around. Remus caught a questioning glance from Lily, and a curious one from Sirius, but otherwise his amorous looks went unrecognized. He blushed at both glances, and looked down into his lunch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will love you forever if you comment or kudous or something. This is my first fic and I'm really worried. Am I doing okay? Anyway thanks for reading so far. Continue

Remus heard footsteps coming towards him. He smelt a familiar scent that was a welcome change from the smell of old books. 

The library always smelt strongly around the full moon (which was only tomorrow night), because his sense of smell was amazingly acute around this time. 

Lily Evens, James's love, was approaching him where he stood between the shelves.

"Hello Remus," she whispered to him which he was grateful for. His ears really did hurt. "Did you finish the athrimancy homework?"

It was a stupid question, for Remus always finished all his homework. "Yep, how bout you?"

"Yes" she answered. There was an awkward pause where Remus continued to look through his favorite section in the library, Dark creatures. 

"Umm... Remus," Lily continued, "Do you know that Sirius and I are friends?" 

This was a strange question, and Remus turned around to look at her. He did know that they were friends, but he couldn't help noticing the distinctive air of awkwardness that surrounded her, and a faint blush was creeping onto her cheeks. 

"Yes, I know... But what does this have to do with me?" Remus questioned. 

He had a good idea that this had something to do with lunch two days ago, but he wasn't going to give in. 

Ever since that lunch Remus made sure that Sirius wouldn't catch his stealthy glances. But as hard as Remus tried he couldn't get his best friends face out of his head. 

He caught himself fantasying in class about those grey eyes, handsome face and shining black hair. Remus had figured it out a long time ago. 

He was in love with his best friend Sirius Black. 

"Well... this is kinda awkward," said Lily, pulling Remus from his memories, "but I noticed the way you look at Sirius, and it is a bit like the way James looks at me. I just wanted you to know that Sirius never stops talking about you. And I think he feels the same way." With that Lily walked off, leaving Remus to his confused thoughts. 

He turned away from the retreating figure and grabbed a book at random. 

It was labeled "The Eradication Of Dark Creatures," instead of reading it Remus sat down in a corner, thoughts only for one Sirius Black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things take a turn for the better.

The lake shimmered in the late afternoon sunlight while Remus watched Sirius do his Defense Against the Dark Arts homework. 

They were sitting under the large beech tree that was next to the lake. James and Peter had left to find more chocolate. Probably from Remus's own stash. 

Sirius was frowning in concentration while looking through the large volume Remus borrowed, The Eradication of Dark Creatures.

Remus was staring at the lake, wondering if Lily was in fact right. Sirius turned the page and a look of horror marred his elegant features. This chapter was a illustrated and detailed guide on how to kill a werewolf. Sirius chucked the book away in disgust and turned to Remus. 

"Why do you borrow that crap? All it tells you is that you are a evil monster. It is the most untrue book I have ever read." said Sirius kindly. The truth was that werewolf's were evil, him included. 

"It is probably the only book you have read." replied Remus cheekily. Sirius responded with a pout before leaping at Remus. 

They both fell backwards together laughing, Sirius pinning Remus to the ground. Remus cried out, for the full moon was tomorrow night and his bones were quite sore. 

Sirius immediately jumped back with panic and started what promised to be a never ending stream of apologies and questions. 

"Oh God, are you alright? What did I hurt? I'm sorry. Was it your head? Do you need the hospital wing? I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. Please tell me your not hurt." Sirius rambled on until Remus sat up and held up his hand to stop him. 

"I'm okay, you just surprised me." and with that Remus jumped at a very stunned Sirius. He landed on top of him but Sirius rolled them both so that he was holding himself up. 

Sirius stared down into Remus's eyes for a long time. Remus was mesmerized by Sirius's good looks.

"Remus... I love you." said Sirius breaking the silence. 

Remus was stunned. Never in a million years would he even hope to believe that Sirius would love him as well. After a few moments of hesitation, Remus replied. 

"Really? You... You really do? 

"Yes Remus, I do. And I think that you feel the same... Don't you?

Remus was afraid to reply. What if this was a trick that James and Sirius planned. He didn't know how he could go on if it was. 

Sirius, reading his face correctly, lent down a pressed a soft kiss on Remus's lips. 

"If it was a joke, would I do that?" Sirius asked. 

"I love you," replied Remus breathlessly. 

"Thats all I wanted to hear," said Sirius quietly. 

Sirius lent down to kiss Remus again. As their lips met he let out a soft moan of longing. Remus pulled him closer and they lay side-by-side, by the lake. 

Sheltered from prying eyes Remus lent over and kissed Sirius with a passion that he didn't know existed. Sirius responded with such energy it felt like electricity was pulsing through his body.

"Sirius..." asked Remus. 

"Mmm." was Sirius's reply for his lips were preoccupied at Remus's throat. 

"How much do you love me?" Remus asked, half fearful of the answer.  Sirius sat up and looked into Remus's large amber eyes. His black hair fell elegantly across his face. He pushed it back and replied. 

"If you were to die now, even if it wasn't my fault. But if you were to die, I would kill myself... Just to be with you in the after life." 

He said this with such a serious attitude that Remus didn't doubt one word.  Sirius lay back down and pulled Remus into a long kiss. He didn't know how long they lay there, but it felt like only minutes had past when he was shivering in the pitch black darkness. 

They had both missed dinner. Finally Sirius pulled himself into a sitting position and suggested going inside. Remus reluctantly agreed and stood up. 

"What does this mean?" asked Remus in a dazed voice.

"It means that I love you," replied Sirius cheekily. "What do you want it to mean?" he asked curiously. 

There were a few moments where Remus stared at his feet awkwardly before Sirius understood.

"Oh... Do you want to be my partner?" Sirius asked nervously. He loved Remus, but Remus was a hard person to read. Was this what he wanted?

Remus looked up with wide eyes. He nodded for he seemed to have gone mute with pleasure. Sirius pulled him into a long, reassuring kiss before grabbing his hand. Together they walked towards the castle, hand in hand.


	5. Chapter 5

"Ugh...." moaned Remus horsily from his bed. "I hate the moon!" His voice was very faint like he was about to lose it.  It was already a quarter to 11, so he had missed breakfast. 

The full moon was tonight, and he was to spend today in bed, incapable of movement. His stomach ached and his head pounded. 

His bones felt like they were trying to stretch themselves in at least 17 different directions. Every noise assaulted his eardrums with indecent vigor. 

All in all, this was going to be one of the worst full moons for a while. Remus could tell how bad it would be on the night by the amount of pain he had prior to it. 

The only thing that helped was his Animagus friends. They helped him stay sane... a little bit. 

"Remus... What hurts?" he heard a voice which soothed him instantly ask. 

"Remus? Remus answer me? Can you hear me?" the voice asked more urgently. Remus couldn't answer. The pain had suddenly peaked and stolen his voice. 

"Remus... Do you want me to get someone? Shit! Where are James and Peter? James knows what to do! Come on Remus, wake up." the voice was panicking. 

Remus wanted to tell it that he was okay, but without a voice of his own that would be difficult. He opened his eyes very slowly. The first thing he saw was the owner of the voice, Sirius, leaning over him. 

Their faces would have been two inches apart. Remus could smell his comforting scent. Sirius's face looked worried. His handsome forehead was creased with deep lines above his gorgeous grey eyes. He was bitting his bottom lip with anxiety, but he relaxed when he saw Remus's eyes open. 

"Oh thank Merlin," exclaimed Sirius, "I thought you had stopped breathing or something. Can you talk?" Sirius had seen him like this too many times. He knew Remus so well. 

Remus continued to stare at Sirius as an answer. After a moment Sirius understood that Remus wouldn't find his voice until after his transformation. Remus saw the look of determination on his friends face. What was Sirius planing?

"Well... Seeing as you can't talk you'll need someone to look after you. And as I'm the only one here, I believe that duty falls to me." said Sirius happily. 

Remus silently watched Sirius for a while. Sirius was distracted by looking through Remus's trunk. After a moment he emerged with a small vile of pain relief potion. 

Sirius looped gracefully back towards the bed, and sat carefully on the edge. Sirius pulled the stopper off and slowly lent towards Remus. 

He cautiously pored the potion into Remus's open mouth, his eyes watching Remus's every move. The potion wouldn't do anything to ease his pain, but he wasn't going to let Sirius know that. 

Sirius placed the empty vile on Remus's bedside table, and turned towards him. There was a pause where Sirius stared into Remus's eyes before he spoke. 

There was a strange fierce burning occurring behind the handsome mans eyes. 

"You know I love you?" asked Sirius. He refused to look away from Remus's large amber orbs. 

Remus gazed back, the depth of Sirius's emotion made his heart beat faster. Remus had never missed his voice more then now. 

With the pain of the moon almost dragging him to unconsciousness, Remus smiled up at Sirius. He hoped that Sirius would understand that his smile said "I love you too". 

Sirius got the message because he lent  tentatively down to brush his lips against Remus's forehead. When he drew back Remus gave a small smile, before finally sinking into the faint that had threatened to overcome him since he lost his voice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is possible that underneath the ridiculous amount of angst you may find some writing

"Remus... Remus... Come on Remus, wake up," a weary voice said from far away. Remus didn't want to wake up. 

He was comfortable where he was, but he would do anything for that voice. So after a small pause he opened his eyes for the second time today to find his face only inches from Sirius. 

He smiled as his voice was still missing. Sirius gave a ginormous sigh before falling into a chair and placing his head in his hands.

Somehow Remus had ended up in the hospital wing, and it was two o'clock. Had he been out for three whole hours? He had also missed lunch which was dangerous. 

He didn't want to be hungry when he was a werewolf. 

Remus gave Sirius a questioning look when he looked up. After all, he had only fainted... Hadn't he? 

Sirius looked defeated and agonized, with a definite lack in his usual confident air. He was also a nasty shade of green, with a cold sweat covering his face. 

What had happened to affect Sirius this badly? He seemed to think for a while before answering.

"Well... You... You fainted," said Sirius. Remus rolled his eyes then purposely looked around the hospital wing. "You...um... Well you weren't very well." said Sirius evasively. "When you fainted you had a kind of seizure."

Sirius's voice sounded haunted, like he had just witnessed something so terrible that it would loom over him forever. It sounded like he had witnessed the death of a loved one. 

Then it struck him. Sirius thought he had just witnessed Remus's death. 

Remus immediately felt terrible for upsetting his love. "I'm so sorry," Remus said horsely, shocking himself by speaking. Obviously Sirius's pain jolted his voice back.

"Sorry?" replied Sirius blankly. "Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault.   It was just seeing you... Like that ... It was different from the full moon pain. You were shaking and your eyes rolled back in your head, and then..." 

he paused and took a deep breath, collecting himself before continuing,

"Then you started to scream. It was the worst thing I have ever seen... The very, very worst. Then, all of a sudden you stopped shaking... breathing... everything. I thought you were going to die, that you were dead."

Sirius gasped and hid his face in his hands again, succumbing to tears. When he glanced up he looked scared, like what  happened was his most torturous nightmare come true. He was watching Remus fearfully, almost like he expected it to happen again. 

"Sirius... I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that. I have fits sometimes around the full moon, but I'm always fine after. 

It's sort of like having severe nightmares, just I can't wake up... and it hurts. I usually put muffilato, body bind and disillusion charms on so you don't hear me or see me... Sirius?" said Remus for Sirius was looking like he would be sick. 

"I'm fine okay, so please don't worry. I hate being the reason for your pain, honestly I'm fine. I have about 12 every full moon." 

Sirius looked if possible even more distraught at these words. Remus knew he was a masochist, and almost kicked himself for telling Sirius that. 

Before Remus could even begin to console him, Sirius jumped to his feet. He ran as fast as he could to the hospital bathroom, covering his mouth. 

Remus listened sadly to the sound of Sirius being violently ill. It was obviously hitting him very very hard. 

Sirius reentered the room a few minutes later, grey and shaking. He smelt strongly of toothpaste, and salt water. His eyes were red, and the occasional tear would escape down his face. He crumpled into the seat closest to Remus. 

"That... That happens a dozen times every full moon? You were in agony. I had never seen you in that much pain... and it happens so often every month? Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me?"

Remus was shocked to see Sirius was sobbing as he spoke. Sirius was hurting, and  it was Remus's fault.

"Yes I didn't tell you," Remus said, now crying silently too, "because I couldn't bare hurting you. It was easier to suffer in silence, for the fits happen when I am stressed or in pain."

Remus was once again edging towards unconsciousness. The fact that he was hurting Sirius was enough to kill him, let alone make him faint. 

"Oh Remus," said Sirius. He must have seen Remus's pale, clammy face and guessed the reason correctly. Sirius really did know him so well.  

"You aren't hurting me. I need to know these things so then I can protect you. I love you more than I can tell you, and I know you feel the same. So tell me about it, and I wont get mad or hurt, I promise."

Sirius finished off the sentence before leaning over to kiss Remus on the cheek. At the last moment Remus turned his head slightly, so that Sirius's lips brushed against his. 

"I love you too," he said. Sirius pulled back smiling. "So what do you want to know?" Remus asked. 

"Well... How long do those... seizures last?" said Sirius. He was curious, but the haunted look lingered in his eyes like a dark shadow. 

Sirius asked this so then he would be prepared if Remus had another one. 

Unlike this time where he was frightened and had no idea what to do. He has settled for screaming in agony, crying  in terror and hugging Remus close. Afraid that that would be the last time. 

"It depends. Its usually between two minutes and three and a half hours. I have about two a day for a week leading up to the full moon, and one a day for the week following," said Remus feigning calmness. 

He watched as Sirius' eyelids fluttered shut, and he gripped the arms of the chair mercilessly tight. Trying and failing to stop the violent shaking. 

Remus tried to ignore it as best he could. It would be no good for him to worry at the moment. Remus knew how delicate he could be after the fits. 

"It depends on the amount of pressure or the amount of pain I am experiencing. If I continue shaking, screaming, throwing up and being unresponsive for more then four and a half hours then I need to go to Saint Mungo's straight away." continued Remus automatically, for it was a well rehearsed story.  

Sirius looked so ill at the words that Remus wondered why it was him in the hospital bed and not Sirius. 

Every full moon Remus suffered for hours in silence. Nobody deserved that, least of all someone as kindhearted as Remus. After a moment Sirius recovered enough to form a sentence. 

"What... What happens if it lasts  four and a half hours?" Asked Sirius fearfully, still shaking.

"Umm... Well... I... my body shuts down from lack of oxygen." said Remus slowly. 

He had tried to find the easiest way of saying "I die," but he had the feeling Sirius saw straight threw it. 

"You... What... Then..." Sirius spluttered. All the blood drained from his face and a cold sweat appeared on his handsome face. 

Yes, Remus thought sadly, he saw straight through that. 

Sirius was swaying like he was about to faint, but pulled himself together. If anything happened to Sirius it would stress Remus out. 

"When I faint, the wolf in me is close to the surface. The wolf doesn't need as much oxygen in it's body as a human, so it doesn't breath as much. The problem is that my body is still human, so it doesn't get enough air." 

Remus watched Sirius closely through the explanation. His head was hidden in his hands, and his shoulders hunched in what looked like defeat. Remus thought he was crying silently. 

"I've got to go to lessons now," said Sirius stiffly. He had forgotten that it was Sunday. Sirius was freaking out, and was trying his hardest to hide it from Remus. 

He jumped up quickly, without testing his balance. He staggered a bit, before falling onto Remus's bed. Remus stifled a cry of pain as Sirius leapt up again. 

"Im so sorry, are you okay?" said Sirius worriedly, he obversely didn't want to hurt Remus more.  

"I'm fine" Remus replied sadly. It was a mistake to tell Sirius everything. 

"That's good," said Sirius before swooping down and planting a kiss on Remus's lips. His heart begun to beat painfully fast against his ribs. Remus kissed back with enthusiasm.

Sirius pulled back all to soon, "You need your rest for tonight." 

It was now three o'clock. Sirius got up off the bed and walked out through the large double doors, still shaking slightly. Before they had completely closed Remus was asleep. 

Sirius shut the doors unsteadily, and began walking down the corridor. Remus was an hour and a half from death, he though. He collapsed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I forgot to say I have no beta, and so any spelling/grammar mistakes are my own fault. Carry on

"Remus darling are you awake?" asked Madam Pomfrey. "The full moon rises in 30 minutes, we have to hurry." 

Remus's eyes shot open at the words 30 minutes. They were cutting things very fine. And to make matters worse he was starving. He couldn't eat this close to the full moon, for food in his stomach would make him violently ill. 

But if he was hungry the wolf would be too, so that would mean more pain for him. When the wolf was hungry it would bite itself for human blood lingers in it's veins. He was going to wake up very sore tomorrow. 

Remus jumped out of bed and followed the school nurse down the hallways until they reached the entrance hall. 

Crossing the grounds took a little longer for being under the open sky made him feel even worse. 

Once at the Whomping Willow Madam Pomfrey turned and wished him luck, before disappearing into the darkness. 

Remus picked up the thin stick and prodded the nob growing on the tree. The Whomping Willow froze instantly, allowing just enough time for Remus to disappear down the entrance to the underground passage. 

His bones ached even more now. Moon rise would be in about fifteen minutes he guessed. Halfway down the passage he heard the sound of his name being called. 

He turned and saw the outline of Sirius approaching him at top speed. Sirius stumbled to a halt before saying breathlessly,

"I love you... What ever happens that is still true."

"I love you too, but I must go. Im dangerous this close to moon rise. I will see you later... And nothing is going to happen to us" Said Remus truthfully. 

Sirius leaned toward him and their lips met. Remus would have liked to stay there with him all night but had to leave, moon rise was very soon.

Remus left for the shack at a pained run. He finally reached the trap door and pushed it open. He raced upstairs, stripping off his clothes as he went. 

Once in the bedroom he placed his clothes in the wardrobe where hopefully the wolf wouldn't find them. He then left the room, locking the door with Alohamora as he went. 

Once downstairs he put his wand in the hidden compartment under a floor board. Remus then walked into the largest room and lay down on the cold wooden floor.

He allowed his body to be shaken by small tremors. He felt strangely at peace. The calm before the storm. 

Moon rise would be only five minutes away, if that. Remus's tremors were becoming more frequent, and he felt as though his bones were on fire. His head pounded and his stomach ached. 

Then he was pain. He wasn't a human anymore, Remus felt like he didn't exist. He was just burning pain. He tried to scream, but if he was, he couldn't hear it. His last conscious thought was, "At least I will see Sirius again," before the wolf took over his mind.


	8. Chapter 8

Remus's eyes shot open at a sudden noise that he recognized, but couldn't comprehend. It was the sound of someone panting in pain. 

He tried to sit up but his injuries prevented that. He slowly flexed each limb. It felt like he had two bites on his right arm, one to his ribs and at least three on his legs. He tried to move his fingers and toes but a acute pain to his left foot told him that he had a few toes missing. As Remus rolled over he felt the pain on one side of his head peak. He raised a shaking hand to investigate, and to his horror found he was missing a ear. 

He battled through the pain. The panting sound disturbed him. As he cautiously pulled himself into the sitting position the panting halted then stopped. The owner was putting  immense energy into stopping the sound.

Once in the sitting position Remus looked around. Daylight was filtering in through the windows, throwing his injuries into sharp relief. 

He was still in the same room, but the room was covered in large dark red pools... blood. Puddles of it lay on the floor, while splashes littered the walls and even the ceiling. 

He inhaled deeply and found that the blood wasn't only his. His eyes rested on James and Peter, who were standing as humans on the opposite side of the room looking sad and scared. 

He finally looked at the figure standing in front of him, and a small smile appeared on his face when he recognized Sirius. 

The first thing he noticed about Sirius was his expression of intense pain. His eyes scanned Remus's body with a transfixed horror. He seemed to be unable to tear his eyes away. 

On closer inspection Sirius was also looking fearful, and strangely apprehensive. He stood with his hands behind his back, looking down into Remus's large amber eyes. 

"James... Peter... Can you leave us for a moment please?" asked Sirius. 

Remus was suddenly petrified, but didn't understand why. What was going on?

James and Peter solemnly left the room and Remus heard the trap door squeak open then bang closed. The sound of retreating footsteps told him that they were defiantly alone. 

Remus's watched Sirius's every move, and was surprised when he sunk down beside him. 

"Remus... I love you... You know that?" Sirius asked in a cautious voice. He was defiantly fearful. 

"Yes, and I love you," replied a very confused Remus. 

"And you know that what ever happens I love you, and will always love you?" Sirius asked. 

"Yes," Remus was now very anxious and scared. 

"Ok... well as you know, last night was pretty rough" said Sirius while looking around the room. This was a dramatic change of subject.

"Yeah, I guessed that much" replied Remus. He was very close to unconsciousness, yet he hadn't even heard the story. 

The apprehension was stretching him to breaking point. What had happened last night?

"Well... Once you finished your transformation we came in. We knew that it was over because you had finished screaming by then." Sirius winced horribly at that before continuing, 

"Well, we came in as animals and found you in the largest room. You were different... More ferocious then usual. You turned around and saw us. Then ran towar... Remus?" Sirius was staring at his love in fright.

Remus was bone white, and his amber eyes were wide with pain. His vision blurred as he lunged at Sirius, pulling his right arm from behind his back. 

There were two deep cuts running the length of Sirius's knuckles, and he was missing his three largest fingers. 

Dried blood was crusted thickly on the remainder of his hand and along his arm. 

Remus looked up at Sirius only to find the other mans eyes full of hardly suppressed agony. He had done this. He was a monster. 

Remus began hyperventilating and his eyes rolled, there wasn't any air in the room. He couldn't hear what Sirius was telling him. 

The world was spinning but he attempted to focus on Sirius? tears falling with increasing speed down his face. He watched as Sirius pulled up his shirt to show Remus two sets of claw marks that looked very forceful. 

He must have broken Sirius's ribs too. Remus knew that he was showing him everything in one hit. He was thankful for it, for he couldn't take the uncertainty. 

Sirius paused for a moment before taking a deep breath. Remus watched Sirius's mouth move, but couldn't hear what be was saying over the pounding of his heart.  

After a few more seconds Sirius pulled his shirt up further to show a half crescent mark by his right shoulder. This mark was a bite. 

Remus couldn't take it anymore, he screamed and clawed at his chest, trying to rip out his heart. 

He yearned not to feel, yet tears fell down his face in agony. He knew before he fainted that the amount of stress and pain might kill him. But Remus felt he deserved it. 

Lights popped before his eyes and a strange hollow ringing sound was steadily growing louder in his ears. The last thing Remus saw before he sunk into unconsciousness was Sirius's pained face moving closer. 

Remus didn't want to leave him, but he didn't know how he could live with himself. He had cursed Sirius with lycanthropy. He was a monster.


End file.
